


Nagito Komaeda Has Accepted Your Friend Request!

by PartridgeOnAPearTree



Series: Facebook AU [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - Non-Despair, M/M, Social Networking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2015-11-01
Packaged: 2018-04-29 10:19:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5123927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PartridgeOnAPearTree/pseuds/PartridgeOnAPearTree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Komaeda seemed like he lived in a completely different world, a completely different level compared to him, yet Hinata can’t deny that right now, he feels a connection so strong that makes him think that they're meant for each other, after all. || In which Hinata and Komaeda are childhood friends and they get reunited via Facebook.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nagito Komaeda Has Accepted Your Friend Request!

**Author's Note:**

> I worked so hard on this. I hope you guys like it! <3

Social networks are actually really convenient, Hinata thinks.

 

He can possibly contact anyone he wants to contact... given that the person is using their real name online, of course. There was a certain name that Hinata never ever forgot even after nine years of not really hearing it, and as soon as he got the idea of looking for that person online, he typed that name in the search bar and hoped for the best.

 

He acknowledges that his actions might be stupid. After all, he had a childhood sweetheart back then when he was in second grade, and despite already being in the second year of senior high school, he still hasn’t gotten involved with anyone in hopes of reuniting with his hopeless crush.

 

Putting it this way, it must really sound stupid, Hinata thinks.

 

Actually, even his friends think it is.

 

‘ _Come on, man! You were in second grade, for god’s sake! I bet he doesn’t even remember you anymore!_ ’ That was the opinion of his good friend, Souda. Though instead of ‘good friend’, Hinata knew that Souda would prefer the term ‘soul friend’.

 

‘ _Well, not all childhood crushes are stupid… but not even hearing from each other for nine years is, uh, kinda a stretch._ ’ And this one’s from Kuzuryuu, another close friend of his. Hinata knows that the only reason Kuzuryuu didn’t flat out call him stupid is because Kuzuryuu himself is attracted to a childhood friend… not like he has ever admitted that out loud, but everyone knows.

 

‘ _Ah, right! Haha! A childhood crush is the type of memory that we laugh at years later, right? Ah… Huh? Oh… Y-You're not joking. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm really sorry._ ’ And that was another great friend, Naegi. Naegi was really nice, and Hinata knew that he’d never say something so disheartening on purpose…

 

It’s okay, actually.

 

Even Hinata knows how hopeless his situation is.

 

Despite acknowledging that, he still hasn’t found the will to just give up and stop. Until now, he can’t seem to develop an attraction for someone new anyway, and whenever he tries to direct his attention to someone else, his mind will just wander and inevitably go to hair that looks so much like the clouds, to eyes whose shade still won’t be done justice by his crayon box with sixty-four colors, to skin that he has described as ‘ _as smooth as my skin when mom finishes putting lots and lots of face powder on it_ ’ as a kid.

 

Maybe Hinata never really grew up, now that he thinks about it.

 

It was ridiculous, he knows. It was ridiculous to remain attracted to a person that he hasn’t even interacted with for nine years. It was ridiculous because his attraction must have had a really shallow basis considering the fact that he was a kid then.

 

But here he is.

 

Here he is typing ‘ _Nagito Komaeda_ ’ in the search bar with his heartbeat going fast while the search engine does its function.

 

\--

 

The classroom was packed and noisy when Hinata arrives.

 

He can hear his classmates boisterously laughing and conversing with each other, and there are even others running around the room while chasing each other. Hinata grins upon seeing them, quickly getting the idea that he should join in their game. He has been in this school since kindergarten after all, and he knows almost everyone in this room.

 

Now he just has to place his bag real quick somewhere and join in.

 

He scans the room with his eyes, looking for an empty seat, and he quickly skips to the one that he sees. It was in the last row, the perfect row in Hinata’s opinion. The teachers don’t notice much when he and his friends are talking to each other during classes whenever they occupy the last row, and they can do pretty much anything they want.

 

He places the bag on the chair as fast as he can, and he was ready to join in the game, but he stops when he gets a good look at the person sitting next to the chair he claimed.

 

It was that quiet white-haired boy.

 

This person was one of the people that Hinata doesn’t know by name. He remembers his face though because this boy once played in the playground and unfortunately slipped on mud, and the contrast of his pale skin and the mud got engraved in Hinata’s mind because it reminded him of the chocolate sundae that his mother usually buys for him.

 

There's also the memory of seeing that lady who fetched the white-haired boy that day. Hinata doesn’t know what relation the lady has with the boy, but he can guess that she wasn’t his mother because they look completely nothing alike. The memory was something that Hinata didn’t forget because he has never seen anyone that angry before because of dirty clothes. (Even his mother doesn’t get _that_ mad!)

 

“Um…” The white-haired boy speaks really softly, a hint of nervousness in his voice. Hinata quickly realizes that he has been staring. “…I'm sorry. Did I do anything wrong?”

 

“Ah, not at all!” Hinata finds himself sitting on the chair, completely forgetting his plans of joining in the game. “Sorry for staring! I'm Hajime. What's your name?”

 

The white-haired boy evidently calms down when he realizes that Hinata was just trying to start a conversation. “I'm Nagito….” He offers Hinata a pale hand.

 

Hinata briefly shakes it and grins again. “Nice to meet you, Nagito!”

 

\--

 

Komaeda Nagito.

 

Hinata can clearly remember that name as if being in second grade was only yesterday.

 

Komaeda was a new student during first grade while Hinata has been in the same school since kindergarten. They haven’t been classmates the year Komaeda got in, but Hinata can remember noticing him already because his appearance just makes him stick out so much.

 

Sometimes Komaeda would play in the playground (though that was a really rare instance, Komaeda would usually just watch the other kids play), and the way mud looks like against his almost white skin will just catch anyone’s attention.

 

During the second grade, not only did they end up in the same class, but they also became seatmates.

 

Hinata’s reminiscence gets interrupted when he sees that familiar mop of white hair in one of the results’ profile pictures. His heartbeat accelerates even more as he clicks on it and waits for the whole page to load. His heartbeat finally stops when the page finishes loading.

 

Or at least it just felt like it stopped. Of course that’s not possible anyway.

 

There's no doubt about it. This Nagito Komaeda person—his hair is that same fluffy white that Hinata remembers although it was even more untamed, his eyes have that same splash of  gray and green that Hinata can’t seem to identify up until now—he just knows that there's no mistaking it. There's no way this Komaeda is not the Komaeda that he knows.

 

Hinata finds himself staring at Komaeda’s profile picture. Komaeda was holding a plastic container that looks like a jack-o-lantern with fake splashes of blood, and he captioned the photo with ‘ _Halloween’s soon! ^_^’_ His smile on the photo itself looked too innocent, too happy, (too cute) to be fitting for a Halloween photo though, Hinata thinks…

 

Hinata scrolls down a bit.

 

 **Izuru Kamukura** , **Teruteru Hanamura** , and **207 others** like this.

 

_200 likes!? Seriously!? For just one photo!?_

Hinata blinks at the like counter. To be fair, to others, two-hundred probably isn’t even too many. He actually knows other people who go beyond five hundred and even a thousand… namely that girl from Naegi’s class called Enoshima Junko, but then again, Hinata has heard that she's already on the way to being a supermodel.

 

But hey, Komaeda’s appearance can be compared to that of a supermodel too anyway (that’s what Hinata thinks), so he probably shouldn’t have been surprised…

 

He scrolls down even more to check the comments.

 

 **Hanamura Teruteru** You look gorgeous ;)

 **Nagito Komaeda** You’re too kind, Hanamura-kun! Thank you! :)

 **Mahiru Koizumi** Don’t forget to attend the Halloween Party in your costume!

 **Nagito Komaeda** Of course! See you there, Koizumi-san! :)

 

It seems Komaeda has a lot of friends, Hinata observes. Ignoring the fact that the first sensation that Hinata felt was jealousy and regret that he transferred to a different school during third grade, he at least convinces himself that he's relieved that Komaeda seems like an outgoing person now. From what he can remember, Komaeda was quiet, doesn’t smile much (his smiles were rare, but Hinata can remember that they were heartwarming whenever they show up), and he usually only talks to Hinata or that girl Tsumiki, who is, not to mention, also quite quiet, even more so than Komaeda, actually.

 

Hinata briefly wonders if Tsumiki is still in the school or if she transferred too, just like Hinata did.

 

Hinata can remember himself too. He was a noisy kid, always active and ready to play any game, but as the years went by, he knew he became quieter, especially around fourth or fifth grade. Nothing bad really caused it—it was just something that happened as he grew up.

 

Komaeda interacted with people named Hanamura Teruteru, Koizumi Mahiru, Nanami Chiaki, and Saionji Hiyoko in the comments for his profile picture, and all of those names are unfamiliar to Hinata. He briefly realizes how long _nine years_ really is, but he brushes off any negative thought that is threatening to occupy his mind.

 

He scrolls up to check the likes again because he could have sworn that he saw a familiar name earlier.

 

He wasn’t wrong.

 

Kamukura Izuru.

 

He knew that person, at least. Seems Kamukura stayed in the same school like Komaeda did.

 

Hinata can remember envying Kamukura because the latter was smart and talented, even wording it as ‘ _There's a kid in my class who can do literally anything, mom!_ ’ back then when he was younger. Now that Hinata, older and more experienced, thinks about it, maybe he still wouldn’t change that proclamation.

 

Kamukura, back then when they were kids, bagged any possible award in any quiz bee provided by their school. Best in Spelling, Best Speaker, Best in Mathematics, _literally everything_ —

 

He has been Hinata’s classmate from kindergarten to first grade, but the year when they were supposed to be second grade students, Kamukura was accelerated to third grade.

 

So maybe it’s safe to assume that Kamukura is in his last year of senior high school now.

 

Unless he was accelerated for a second time or even a third time, then he can be in university instead.

 

Putting Kamukura away from his thoughts, Hinata presses the ‘next’ button to see more of Komaeda’s profile pictures.

 

Komaeda has become even more attractive in a span of nine years, and if his crush just wouldn’t be glaringly obvious, Hinata would press the like button in all of his profile pictures as soon as his friend request gets accepted.

 

Speaking of friend requests—ah, he hasn’t even sent his yet.

 

Oh, well, maybe later he will, after he has finished looking at Komaeda’s pictures…

 

The next photo was of Komaeda holding a glass in his hand, grinning happily at the camera. From what Hinata can observe, Komaeda seems to be in a party because the lighting wasn’t very bright, but the photo looked nice anyway because he was wearing a small neon accessory (it looks like a bracelet, Hinata isn’t sure), and the party lights are making whatever that accessory is look like an amazing effect for the photo.

 

‘ _Parties aren’t really my scene, but I had so much fun! Thanks for inviting me, **Asahina** -san! ^-^_’

 

 **Aoi Asahina** , **Izuru Kamukura** , and **191 others** like this.

 

 **Aoi Asahina** No problem! You were fun to be with too! If it’s okay, you should really attend next time as well! :D

 **Nagito Komaeda** Thanks, Asahina-san! You're too nice! :)

 **Leon Kuwata** Hey, Komaeda! Next time, you're singing on stage! I ain't gonna take no for an answer anymore!

 **Nagito Komaeda** Haha, Kuwata-kun, you're really persistent! As I said, I really don’t sing, haha ^^;

 

Hinata still doesn’t know any of these people… well, again, aside from Kamukura. He wonders if most of Komaeda’s friends now are people who transferred to their school when Hinata left. Komaeda’s really beautiful, and his pictures are quite pleasing to look at, but Hinata can’t stop himself from feeling really regretful too during browsing.

 

Each second of finding a person whose name is unfamiliar to him makes his regret of leaving grow. He recalls why he had to transfer in the first place, and while it wasn’t really his fault, he still can’t help but feel that he could have done something to change that.

 

His father just decided one time that he wanted a change of scenery, and of course, the whole family has to move as well. Hinata can remember sulking for days because he really doesn’t want to move, doesn’t want to leave ‘ _Nagi_ ’ behind (Hinata can remember that that was what he called Komaeda back then and it was embarrassing to think about now… there was also the fact that Komaeda called him ‘ _Hajikkun_ ’, and that’s embarrassing _and_ cute at the same time), but his sulking didn’t really do anything.

 

The next photo, Komaeda wasn’t smiling anymore. Instead, he had a serious facial expression on. He was wearing plain white clothing, and considering the fact that he has white hair _and_ pale skin, the photo made him look like an angel. Hinata found himself staring, his jaw probably dropped too as he did, because Komaeda looked so much like he was straight from heaven that it wasn’t even funny anymore.

 

He was leaning against a tree’s trunk, and he was holding a white rose on one hand.

 

The photo looked like it was straight from a magazine.

 

‘ _I don’t know why **Koizumi** -san would choose me as a model for her photoshoot today, but I'm flattered anyway! Thanks, Koizumi-san! :)_’

 

 **Mahiru Koizumi** , **Izuru Kamukura** , and **212 others** like this.

 

 **Mahiru Koizumi** I was just experimenting with something. Turns out I still prefer smiling people, after all, but I guess the photos weren’t bad. Thanks too for agreeing!

 **Nagito Komaeda** It was my pleasure, Koizumi-san! You're a really skilled photographer, after all! :)

 

Hinata continued browsing through his profile pictures album. There was a photo of him laughing, looking like he wasn’t aware that it was taken (‘ _Candid shot, haha! I think this photo turned out decently!_ ’), a photo of him flashing a peace sign at the camera (‘ _I felt like changing my profile picture today, but I have nothing special saved, so I just took a selfie, haha :D_ ’), a photo of him in a field of flowers (‘ _This place was really pretty! I just had to take a picture!_ ’)…

 

When it was finally time for Hinata to send Komaeda a friend request (that is, after looking through his profile pictures supposedly, but Hinata ended up looking through his statuses and other picture albums anyway), he had the sudden doubt if what he's doing is alright.

 

He remembered Souda’s words. Komaeda probably doesn’t remember him anymore.

 

He remembered Kuzuryuu’s words. It was indeed a stretch, not interacting for nine years and all. Not to mention the fact that Komaeda seems to have befriended a lot of people too. It wouldn’t be surprising if he does forget Hinata since Hinata doesn’t really have a striking quality anyway.

 

He remembers Naegi’s words too. His situation was indeed like a joke.

 

He sighs, leaning his elbows on the table where his laptop is placed. He caresses his head and contemplates the situation.

 

What if Komaeda goes like ‘ _Excuse me. Do I know you?_ ’

 

Or—wait.

 

He's getting ahead of himself.

 

What if Komaeda doesn’t even accept his request in the first place? And how would Hinata go with this? Should he leave a short message, something like ‘ _Hey, it’s Hajime from school a few years ago. What's up?_ ’

 

Nah, that’s stupid. Besides, ‘a few years ago’ is a gross understatement.

 

‘ _Hello, it’s Hajime from second grade. How are you?_ ’

 

For some reason, this one’s creepy, Hinata thinks. It’s too straightforward as well.

 

He was so happy about finally finding Komaeda online that he didn’t even have the time to think about this. If he were still the same person he was back then in second grade, his short message would probably be ‘ _!!!!!!!!!!!!! NAGI!!!!!!! IT ME!!!!!! HAJEEMEY!!!!!!!_ ’

 

Or maybe not too. That one was overdoing it. He wasn’t _that_ energetic.

 

He sighs again.

 

He didn’t know that he would face difficulty here of all situations.

 

‘ _Hey, it’s Hajime. I don’t know if you remember me, but we were close friends during second grade, haha. Wanna catch up? :)_ ’

 

Hinata stares at the blinking cursor at the end of his short message. He finds the smiley out of place since he wasn’t really the kind of person who uses smileys a lot, but from what he has observed in Komaeda’s comment sections, the white-haired boy seems fond of them. His good friend Naegi was like that too and Hinata can loosely remember Naegi mentioning that people who don’t use emoticons online strike him as cold…

 

To be safe, Hinata would put a smiley in there too because he doesn’t want Komaeda to think that he's unfriendly.

 

The ‘ _wanna catch up?_ ’ part looks really wrong too. Maybe he would be pushing it too much with that kind of message, and he might cause Komaeda to feel creeped out… and of course he doesn’t want that too.

 

He highlights that part and deletes it, replacing it with a shorter ‘ _how’s it going?_ ’ He stares at his typed message again, wondering if it’s already enough, if it’s too eager, too creepy, too familiar—

 

He leans his head near the edge of his laptop. If he does send a friend request, wouldn’t Komaeda wonder why Hinata added him now of all times? They don’t have a single mutual friend online, not even Kamukura, so Hinata can’t lie that he showed up in friend recommendations.

 

Really, in this situation, it’s so obvious that he specifically searched for Komaeda…

 

He lifts his head, and suddenly, he can’t feel his face.

 

_Your friend request has been sent._

“Oh, fuck!” Hinata curses out loud. He immediately hears his mother reprimanding him for his language downstairs, but right now, he can’t seem to really process anything. How did that even happen? Did he accidentally press it while stupidly leaning his head—

 

Ahh, why is he so stupid?

 

How can one person fuck up so much by just resting their head near their laptop?

 

Who the hell even rests their head near their laptop anyway?

 

Stupid, stupid, stupid—

 

_Nagito Komaeda has accepted your friend request._

And with that, Hinata’s thoughts immediately come to a halt.

 

\--

 

“Hajikkun…” He hears Komaeda beside him, and he feels small fingers lightly grabbing the edge of his shirt. “You don’t have to do this… It’s okay, I don’t really mind—”

 

“No!” Hinata immediately interrupts, his glare not leaving the upperclassmen in front of them for a second. “I can’t let them continue doing this to you!”

 

There were fourth graders in front of them at the moment. Three of them, to be specific. They were all taller than both Hinata and Komaeda, and if Hinata would be forced to be honest, he would say that he's actually scared at the moment.

 

That was the day when he found out the reason why Komaeda would usually share food with him under excuses like ‘ _Sorry for the bother, Hajikkun… it seems I left my wallet at home again today_ ’ and ‘ _Okay, I'm going to buy food—ah… huh? That’s weird… I know I placed my wallet here today…_ ’

 

These fourth graders—way taller and stronger than any second grader in their school— were able to force Komaeda into giving them his wallet anytime they pleased. Only, and luckily, that day, Hinata was with Komaeda when they tried to do what they usually do.

 

Hinata knew that he's nothing compared to these fourth graders, but he was going to try his best at least.

 

“Your friend’s rich anyway, you know.” One of the boys in the group speaks. “That’s why he doesn’t really mind, as he said. Give it up.”

 

“No!” Hinata exclaims. He can almost feel the impending beating that he's about to get. “Why don’t you guys just steal each other’s wallets? You guys are really pathetic, picking on us like this when we’re obviously younger than you!”

 

“Hajikkun…” Komaeda tightens his hold on his shirt. “Please… I don’t want you to get in a fight…”

 

“I’ll be fine!”

 

Hinata sees the guy who was taunting them raise his fist, and he mimics the action. He knows that his punches will probably be a feather’s touch compared to their upperclassmen, but at least he tried. He would do his best to be a decoy at least and let Komaeda escape—

 

“What's going on here?”

 

They hear a voice, and they all turn to its direction..

 

There stood one of their teachers, and almost instantly, the three upperclassmen run away, the teacher on their tail. It was a comical situation, Hinata hasn’t really seen a teacher run before, no matter how shallow that is, and as soon as all of them were gone, Hinata and Komaeda make eye contact.

 

They both laugh after a few seconds, almost as if in unison, and they go home together that afternoon.

 

\--

 

This brings Hinata back to that present.

 

That memory was nice to remember and all, but his current dilemma was powerful enough to distract him from any sentimental feeling that he has for the past. He didn’t expect that he’d be idiotic enough to accidentally press a button when he was obviously not ready and that he’d be unlucky (or lucky) enough for Komaeda to be online when he fucked up.

 

He clicks on Komaeda’s chat window, and his already shaking hands sweat even more when he sees that Komaeda seems to be typing a message. Should he type one too? But if he does, it might make Komaeda want to stop with whatever he was typing, and Hinata doesn’t really want that—

 

‘ _Hajikkun, right!? It’s been so long!!! Things have been okay for me! How about you? :D I really miss you!_ ’

 

Hinata blinks twice at the chat window and wonders if he's hallucinating. Komaeda remembers him? And to top it off, Komaeda misses him too?

 

Whoa, this is just too good to be true.

 

He can’t stop himself from smiling though as he types. ‘ _I'm so glad you remember me. I was really worried that you might have forgotten. Things have been going well for me too. I'm glad that you're the same. I miss you so much too._ ’

 

Hinata already has hit ‘send’ when he realizes that his message is too eager. _So glad you remember me_? _Really worried that you might have forgotten_? That’s practically yelling that he likes Komaeda even after all this time! And the last bit ‘ _I miss you so much too_ ’ was just plainly wrong because Komaeda didn’t even say that he missed Hinata ‘ _so much_ ’. He only missed Hinata, not ‘so much’, not ‘very much’, just plain missing. That’s different.

 

Komaeda doesn’t seem to be typing as well, and Hinata’s nervousness instantly doubles. He really has done it. He really has creeped out Komaeda just because he can’t stop himself from being an inappropriate—

 

 _‘It’s practically impossible to forget, you know! As you said, we were really close. If anything, I actually thought that Hajikkun forgot about me instead because I didn’t really stand out. You had a lot of friends from what I remember, haha! :D_ ’

 

Hinata immediately calms down.

 

Alright, Komaeda didn’t think he was weird. Komaeda wasn’t creeped out, didn’t notice his obvious crush despite his equally obvious words, and everything was fine. Hinata takes a deep breath before typing up another reply. This time, he decides that he should reread the message over and over before sending it.

 

‘ _But we were usually together, right? Even if I befriended every single person in the school, I know that I’d still remember you._ ’

 

Hinata stares at this typed reply. This one was just too much, wasn’t it? ‘ _Even if… I’d still remember you_ ’ sounds so much like flirting, just like a line pulled out straight from a shitty romantic comedy somewhere. Hinata knows that he's being honest with that statement though, and he doesn’t really know what to replace it with, so he just presses ‘enter’ and hopes for the best…

 

‘ _That’s really sweet, Hajikkun :)_

 _By the way, why did you suddenly transfer during third grade? It was so sudden, we weren’t really able to say goodbye to each other, right?_ ’

 

The feeling of guilt and regret that Hinata had earlier resurfaces.

 

‘ _Yeah, technology wasn’t that popular back then, so we weren’t able to stay in touch after that… Sorry._

_Dad suddenly just wanted to live elsewhere that time. I swear I didn’t really want to leave, but we were quite young back then, so I'm sure that they didn’t even try to hear my opinion._

_I want to make it up to you. Are you free this Friday night?_ ’

 

‘ _That’s rough… Oh, well, it’s lucky that we were able to stay connected again now, right? :)_

 _Sorry, Hajikkun. Not this Friday. I have somewhere to go to :( How about Saturday night?_ ’

 

‘ _It is. I'm happy I found you._

 _Oh… I have to do something for my mom this Saturday night, so that’s not good too… Are you alright with going out on a Sunday night?_ ’

 

Hinata was about to press ‘enter’ when he takes a good look at this message. ‘ _I'm happy I found you_.’ Seriously? Where did his stealth ever go?

 

He quickly deletes that part. Settling for the simple ‘ _it is_ ’, a safe agreement—that’s already sufficient, isn’t it?

 

He at least adds a smiley because the plain ‘ _it is_ ’ looks too short and cold.

 

‘ _It is. :)_

 _Oh… I have to do something for my mom this Saturday night, so that’s not good too… Are you alright with going out on a Sunday night?_ ’

 

‘ _Oh, yes, Sunday night is okay :) I have a reaction paper due on Monday, but luckily, I decided to turn it in early!_ ’

 

That reminds Hinata of the thick assigned readings that he hasn’t started on yet and the fact that they’ll have a graded recitation about them on Monday. He types anyway.

 

‘ _That’s great. Give me your number, by the way, so that we can communicate and plan more about our meeting :) See you soon, Nagi. I really missed you._ ’

 

\--

 

For some reason, back then when they were in second grade, filling out information about oneself has become popular for a while. Hinata doesn’t really remember, but there was a certain girl in their class who started it. She’d pass the paper around, asking for their favorite colors, favorite foods, favorite candies… there was even one asking who their crushes were, Hinata can remember.

 

The person sitting in front of him—if Hinata remembers right, it was a guy named Nidai—passed him one of these papers one time. That certain paper was written on by what seemed like more than half of the class already, and the questions that it wanted to know were ‘ _When’s your birthday?_ ’, ‘ _What's your favorite subject?_ ’ and the dreaded ‘ _Who's your crush?_ ’

 

Hinata doesn’t understand why these papers felt imperative back then. Now that he thinks about it, it’s alright and easy to make up something or just scribble a random answer, but back then, everyone seems to take the questions rather seriously and honestly. It’s as if leaving just one category blank was a deep violation and a crime punishable by law.

 

_January 1 st._

_Gym class._

Hinata knew that he was in the middle of writing the hiragana for ‘na’ (he was about to write ‘ _Nagi_ ’) when he realizes that Komaeda is, in fact, his seatmate and that he’d quickly see Hinata’s answer once the paper is passed to him. He scribbles over the written hiragana and turns to Komaeda beside him.

 

He remembers passing the paper to Komaeda and leaving the crush part blank, saying that Komaeda should answer before him and return it to him afterwards. The memory of Komaeda’s pale skin reddening that time and him softly asking who Hinata’s crush is was also one that Hinata can’t forget.

 

“You go first.” That was what Hinata said back then. Now that he thinks about it, that was a quite classic response. He also learned throughout the years that if a person replies with that statement when asked who their crush is, they don’t trust the person who asked them. That, or the more positive possibility of the asked liking the asker.

 

“I-It’s embarrassing.” Komaeda lightly plays with his fingers. “Hajikkun really should go first.”

 

“I’ll say mine if you say yours.”

 

“W-Well…” Komaeda bites his lower lip. “M-My crush is…”

 

“Is…?”

 

“Promise me that you won’t get mad…?”

 

“Why would I get mad?”

 

“Just promise me, Hajikkun!” Hinata can remember that that must have been the most authoritative tone that he has ever heard from Komaeda then.

 

“Of course. I promise!”

 

“My  crush is…” Komaeda evidently gulps, looking away. “…My crush is Hajikkun.”

 

Hinata remembers that he gasped then that time, covering his mouth before saying, “Me too! I have a crush on you too!”

 

\--

 

That was a refreshing memory.

 

Hinata wonders if things would be as easy right now. They were little kids back then and everything seemed so simplistic. But now, at the present time, they have been apart for nine years. They weren’t those little kids anymore who are together every day to play any game together.

 

Komaeda has become so beautiful, so difficult to reach…

 

Hinata sighs at his reflection on the mirror.

 

He's really plain compared to Komaeda.

 

He wonders if a guy like him stands a chance.

 

\--

 

“Whoa, goddamn,” Souda gapes at his phone. “You're meaning to say that _this_ hottie is the childhood crush that you were talking about?”

 

“I know he's hot, but stop it.”

 

“And you say that he remembers you?” Souda shakes his head as he stares at Komaeda’s photo. “Man, Hinata, I'm really happy for you.”

 

“Thanks, man, but it’s not like we’re in a relationship.”

 

“Yet.” Souda winks and pats him on the back. “You're such a lucky bastard. So hey, since you're happy, scoring a date with your crush and all, why don’t you help me score with Sonia-san too? That’d be really cool of you.”

 

“No thanks.” Hinata abruptly says, rolling his eyes. “Do it yourself.”

 

\--

 

Hinata has never looked forward to a Sunday, and to top it off, a Sunday night, before. He has a natural aversion towards Sundays because it’s basically the last day to accomplish tasks (more like procrastinate) for the next week.

 

But today, whatever hatred he has for Sunday is currently forgotten.

 

If anything, he has been waiting for this day the whole week. The days before this one seem to have just passed by without anything significant happening… that or maybe all of Hinata’s enthusiasm just happened to be reserved for this certain day…

 

“For the last time, no, Hinata, you're not overdressed.” Kuzuryuu already had his eyebrows knit together as he replied. “And no, you don’t look too casual either. As I said, you're okay. It’s okay.”

 

Hinata sighs and passes by the mirror again, running his hand on his hair for the umpteenth time today. He chose to wear a dark green long-sleeved v-neck partnered by plain white pants. He can’t help feeling that there's something wrong with his choice of clothing though…

 

“But—”

 

“No, you don’t look stupid either.”

 

Hinata sighs again. The interval for his sighs seems to be shortening. “Okay, I’ll trust you. But if he—”

 

“There's no way that he’d say anything bad about your clothing even if it _is_ bad, you know.” Kuzuryuu lifts an eyebrow. “Or is he that kind of person?”

 

“Well, no!” Hinata immediately answers. “I mean, I don’t know, for all I know, maybe he has changed over the years, but from what I can see, I don’t think he’d do something like that!”

 

Kuzuryuu rolls his eyes. “Then what are you stressing about in the first place?”

 

“The fact that my clothes look bad... _and_ he not saying anything about it.”

 

“Well, for one, I at least know that your clothes don’t look bad.”

 

“Yeah, but see, Komaeda and his friends seem to dress up, like, celebrity-level style. From what I can see when I browsed through his account, he has this photographer friend, and they sometimes do mini photoshoots when she's in the mood to try out a new style.”

 

“You know, Hinata, that doesn’t even matter.” Kuzuryuu bites his lower lip. “You really think that during your first time to meet within nine years, his attention will be focused on the fact that you're not dressed up like a celebrity?”

 

“Well…”

 

“If he does something like that, it means that he's really superficial and that you shouldn’t even bother yourself with him.” Kuzuryuu shrugs. “Just my two cents.”

 

“That actually makes sense…” Hinata slowly nods. “Thanks, Kuzuryuu. You're the best.”

 

“Shut up, you don’t have to go all mushy on me.” So he says, though Hinata can notice that he actually looks embarrassed. “A-Anyway, good luck tonight. Don’t forget about the graded recitation for tomorrow too. You're bound to get distracted, going on a date and all.”

 

“I’ll be fine. Thanks again, Kuzuryuu.”

 

\--

 

Kuzuryuu sounded really wise then, but now, while Hinata is waiting in the restaurant that he chose with Komaeda, he can’t help feeling that he looks stupid, after all. He badly wants to go check how he looks in the bathroom, but he's supposed to be reserving seats for the two of them at the moment.

 

That’s basically why he bothered to show up two hours early, but now he's increasingly regretting that decision.

 

By the time Komaeda arrives, he probably would look like a haggard old man already…

 

Ahh, just why is he so stupid? He can’t even make such simple decisions properly. He wants to repeatedly scratch his head in frustration and just never stop doing so, but if he does, he knows that he’ll mess up his hair and he’ll look even more ridiculous than he already does.

 

Komaeda’s pretty much a supermodel compared to him (to be fair, Komaeda does look like a supermodel even if compared to no one), and it wouldn’t do Hinata any good if he messes up his already failing appearance even more.

 

Even Komaeda’s friends look like celebrities, truth to be told. There were people who looked like a Japanese classical dancer, a really beautiful swimmer with an equally beautiful body, a rock star, an idol…

 

Hinata can almost imagine all of them huddling together and telling Komaeda not to go for him because he's too plain for them.

 

He shakes his head instead because he can’t scratch it. What he's thinking is no good. He's already assuming that Komaeda’s friends are judgmental people, and he doesn’t even have basis for that. Komaeda’s a nice person, so he probably chose his friends well too…

 

He hears the sound of the chimes when the door of the restaurant opens. Each time Hinata hears that sound, he gets reminded about how wrong his choices are. If only he could have been a normal person and showed up in a reasonable time, things would have been so much better—

 

“Excuse me?” A voice interrupts his thoughts.

 

Just great.

 

He has no time for people who randomly strike up conversation out of nowhere.

 

He looks up, not even bothering to mask his annoyance, and he immediately backpedals when he sees who it was.

 

Someone with white hair that looks so soft to the touch, someone with eyes whose color won’t be sufficiently described by the simple words ‘green’ and ‘gray’ alone, someone with skin so smooth-looking that he can probably make a celebrity cry…

 

Hinata finds himself stupidly gaping. He knows that he should say a word soon because he can imagine how foolish he looks at the moment, but he still can’t will himself to do so.

 

“Excuse me, but are you Hinata Hajime?” The white-haired boy speaks again. Hinata can hear a slight tone of nervousness and uncertainty in his voice. “I-I'm sorry if I was mistaken.”

 

“N-No.” Hinata finally finds his voice. “No, I mean, uh, no, you're not wrong. I _am_ Hinata. You're, um, Komaeda… right?”

 

That pause before saying his name was needed because he can’t be too obvious that he actually stared at Komaeda’s photos long enough to not have a single ounce of doubt at the moment. _God, he looks even more attractive in real life._ Komaeda smiles and Hinata is back in grade school all over again. That overwhelmingly warm feeling in his chest is present again for the first time in nine years, and he can’t stop himself from returning the smile.

 

“It really is you, Hajikkun!” Hinata doesn’t register it quickly because the next thing that he knows, Komaeda’s arms are tightly wrapped around him. It was almost funny (and embarrassing) because he can pinpoint how exactly fast his face started to feel hot. “I didn’t think you'd be here already because I accidentally showed up too early, but I'm so glad! I missed you so much!”

 

“W-Well, yeah.” Hinata stupidly manages as he slowly wraps his arms around Komaeda too. _God, he smells like vanilla._ “I didn’t think you'd be here already either… a-and I missed you too, of course.”

 

Komaeda gives him one last squeeze before pulling away and quickly taking the seat across him, smiling at him widely. “Why are you here so early, Hajikkun? Not like I'm in the position to ask, haha, but I swear I have a good explanation!”

 

“Well…” _Pathetic, Hajime. Not smooth at all. So uncool._ “Maybe I was a little bit too excited…”

 

In truth, he actually wanted to make an excuse. Admitting that was the last option that he had, but for some reason, he can’t bring himself to lie at the moment. There was just something about the way Komaeda smiles at him, making him feel like he was a kid again talking to his fellow kid friend, and he didn’t want to adulterate that innocence.

 

“Oh.” Komaeda pauses for a while, nodding. Hinata starts to wonder if he was wrong about choosing honesty. “I'm the same way, actually. I couldn’t stop thinking about meeting Hajikkun again the whole week! I really was relieved that I decided to write that reaction paper earlier!”

 

Hinata briefly remembers his assigned readings, but he decides that he doesn’t really give a damn anymore. “Thanks… I mean, I was pretty nervous that I might be forcing you to this…”

 

“Oh?” Komaeda smiles. “You're not forcing me to anything. Don’t worry, Hajikkun.”

 

“So, uh,” Hinata clears his throat and remembers to smile again. He realizes that his initial smile was wiped out a few seconds ago because he really is too nervous for his own good. “How have you been? We have so much to talk about, not seeing each other for nine years and all…”

 

“Haha, right!” Komaeda giggles. “Well, as I said, I’ve been okay. I luckily befriended a lot of people who are kind to me throughout the years. I also have gotten closer to those who stayed in our school. Nidai-kun, Tsumiki-san, and Kamukura-kun, of course. Though right now, Kamukura-kun is in university.”

 

“Oh.” Hinata nods. His guess about Kamukura was right, after all. “So Nidai and Tsumiki didn’t leave, huh? Say hi to them for me.”

 

“I will, of course! Oh, they’ll be so happy to find out that we’ve gotten in touch again! They both remember you really well, you know!” Komaeda really looks happy as he speaks. Hinata finds it really contagious. “I'm really glad that we’re together right now, talking to each other again. I just finished studying for a quiz that time, and I thought I should check my account for a short break. I never would have guessed that I would receive a friend request from Hajikkun!”

 

“Haha, right…” Hinata immediately remembers how stupid he felt that time. He tries to forget it anyway because at least it made Komaeda happy, after all. “It was really lucky that you were online that time too. That way, we were able to talk and plan for this reunion much sooner.”

 

Komaeda nods, still with a smile. “I agree with you, Hajikkun! I never would have imagined, really. I thought that we’d never meet again!”

 

“Same… anyway, uh,” Hinata straightens himself. “Should we order food now?”

 

“Oh, right!” Komaeda giggles. “I really wanted to just keep on talking and talking with Hajikkun… I completely forgot that we’re in a restaurant in the first place! So… does Hajikkun still like kusamochi? Or did times change that?”

 

Hinata feels a really bubbly feeling within his chest upon this revelation that Komaeda still remembers his favorite food. “No, you're right. I still like kusamochi. Do you still like viva ice?”

 

Komaeda looks flattered as well. Hinata guesses that there really is just that effect when someone remembers something about you despite a long time of not interacting. “I still do. And just like before, I still get lucky!”

 

“But those are for our dessert… What do you want for our dinner itself?”

 

“I'll have what Hajikkun will have.” Komaeda nods at the menu, as if internally deciding that he's alright with anything. Hinata still feels pressured to make a good choice though. It’s really bad if Komaeda doesn’t really like what he chose but feels obligated to put up with it…

 

“Okay then. I’ll choose my favorite one out of everything they have here.” Hinata replies.

 

 

That was wrong to say, wasn’t it? That way, Komaeda really will feel obligated to put up with his choice if it ever happens to be bad!

 

“I'm looking forward to tasting Hajikkun’s favorite!”

 

The pressure to choose well just increased even more.

 

Hinata calls the waiter shortly after, reciting their order carefully. He looked at Komaeda for confirmation as he does, as if wordlessly asking if his choice is alright, but Komaeda doesn’t seem to show any sign of protest anyway. Komaeda seems too nice… it’s not a stretch to assume that he’ll politely tolerate even what he doesn’t like…

 

Hinata wonders if he's being too irrational at the moment…

 

“…Is there something on my face, Hajikkun?” Komaeda blinks at him. He hasn’t realized that he was staring already. Upon closer inspection to Komaeda, Hinata notices that there's a tinge of pink on his cheeks. “Why are you staring at me…?”

 

“Oh, I, uh, sorry.” Hinata clears his throat. He really hasn’t realized that he has been staring, honest! Totally not stealthy. “It’s just, uh, I hope you don’t get weirded out by this, but you…”

 

“…Hm?”

 

“You have gotten, uh… really good-looking.” Hinata mutters, but he knows that he was heard as that previous tinge of pink on Komaeda’s face turns into a full-fledged red. “I-I mean, you have always been cute anyway, even as we were kids, but… s-sorry. This is getting uncomfortable, isn’t it?”

 

“Well, not really uncomfortable…” Komaeda has started playing with the ends of his hair. Hinata guesses that it’s unconscious and that’s what makes it even cuter. “I'm just really flattered, that’s all. I didn’t think that Hajikkun would think someone like me is attractive.”

 

Hinata doesn’t know if Komaeda’s forgetting that Hinata used to (still does) crush on him when they were younger, but alright.

 

“Someone like me…” Hinata repeats. “That still hasn’t gone away?”

 

Even back then when they were in second grade, Komaeda usually self-deprecated, referring to himself usually as ‘someone like me’ as if he's just some dirt even lower than vermin. Looking at Komaeda’s photos and posts online, Hinata thought that his confidence must have boosted at least, but it seems that that particular phrase still comes up, after all.

 

“Oh, haha, right.” Komaeda chuckles, obviously as an attempt to make light of the situation. “It still is a bad habit of mine, even after nine years. It’s so embarrassing. I hope Hajikkun excuses it.”

 

“Well, like I always said even back then, you shouldn’t talk about yourself that way.” Hinata replies. “That still won’t change now. You still shouldn’t talk about yourself that way.”

 

“Thank you.” Komaeda smiles. Hinata knows he's not convinced. “Anyway, Hajikkun has gotten even more attractive too.”

 

Komaeda probably is just saying that to be kind, but Hinata knows his cheeks still heated up anyway. “T-Thanks too… So, uh, how’s school going?”

 

As soon as the words came out of his mouth, Hinata realized how that topic sucks so much. The only people he encounters who actually brings that subject up are older people. So he adds as a follow-up, “I mean, how’s everything? Did a lot happen after I left?”

 

“Oh, right!” Komaeda’s face lights up. “Our school has improved even more in a span of nine years. For one, they added variety to the food in the school canteen, haha! That’s very important, considering that back then, the food got really repetitive…”

 

“True.” Hinata smiles a bit. It feels better to not reminisce alone for once. “How are the prices though? The food in the canteen tends to get overpriced, right?”

 

“Oh! That’s another good thing!” Komaeda returns his smile. “The price was reasonable as well! I really thought it was too good to be true when I first heard, so I went to the canteen to confirm things for myself. It was accurate information, Hajikkun!”

 

“That’s good to hear.” Hinata nods. “What else? I’d really like to visit sometime. I want to see our old classmates and maybe some teachers too if I feel like it.”

 

“Oh, well, don’t forget to notify me first if you're going to visit, Hajikkun. I’ll be sure to go with you. I mean, I once accompanied Kamukura-kun when he visited too, so I'm used to it.”

 

“Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”

 

“Anyway, I think I’ve been talking too much about my side! How’s it going on your end, Hajikkun? Have you befriended a lot of people?” Komaeda pauses for a while. “Actually, no, that’s a stupid question. It’s Hajikkun, so of course he did.”

 

“Well, I guess you could say that, but I have this inner circle whom I hang with more often.” Hinata replies. “We’re few, actually. Just four guys. Sometimes even three because the other guy is our junior and he occasionally wants to hang with his classmates. We sound like losers, right?”

 

“Haha, no, not at all.” Komaeda giggles. “A smaller group is actually much more tight-knit, you know. And that’s really okay. I mean, I'm usually by myself.”

 

“What?” Hinata furrows his eyebrows. “Seriously?”

 

That’s pretty hard to believe. Again, judging from his online account, Hinata would have thought that Komaeda would be part of that group that practically everyone in the school knows. Actually, Hinata can totally see that happening.

 

“Yeah, but before you get worried, it’s not like I'm lonely!” Komaeda raises both of his arms in front of him, as if defensive. “It’s just that I don’t know who to hang with most of the time, so I usually just go by myself until I see someone.”

 

“Well, alright, if you say so.” Hinata actually feels a bit skeptic, but he really does hope Komaeda’s okay. “Who's usually with you though? The one that you hang around the most, I mean?”

 

“Well…” Komaeda softly taps his chin. “Haha, I don’t really know how to answer that… It’s either I'm with all of them at once, or I'm not with anyone at all.”

 

“I see.” Hinata nods. “I understand.”

 

“Right, so by the way, Hajikkun should totally introduce me to his friends too some other time.” Komaeda’s smile is back. “I'm sure Hajikkun has picked great friends!”

 

Hinata thinks about the fact that his friends already know Komaeda, that Hinata has crushed on him for years, and how none of them are good liars. He also thinks about the fact that a lot of embarrassing things would probably happen once they finally meet Komaeda, but he replies anyway, “Oh, sure. I'm sure they'd love you.”

 

“And I'm sure I’d love them too.” Komaeda smiles. He looks like he had more to say, but their conversation was interrupted by the waiter finally arriving with their food. Their attention is instantly on the comestibles, and Hinata’s previous worry about his choice of food shows its ugly head again.

 

Komaeda doesn’t seem to mind though as he most happily takes a pair of chopsticks and shows Hinata the best smile that he has seen so far this evening.

 

“Let’s eat, Hajikkun?”

 

All of his worries and doubts, just because of that one smile, seem to have quickly disappeared.

 

\--

 

“Sorry, I really didn’t want to ask, but,” Hinata runs a hand through his hair as the two of them go out the restaurant. “I was really worried about my choice, see, so may I ask if you liked the food that we ate? I was thinking that maybe—”

 

“Oh, no, Hajikkun, come on.” Komaeda almost sounds like he's scolding him. “You don’t have to worry about anything. The food was splendid.”

 

“You sure? I mean, if you weren’t quite satisfied, we can always go buy some more in another restaurant, you know.”

 

“I assure you it’s okay.” There was Komaeda’s smile again. “But I think I do want some ice cream. I really liked the viva ice earlier and all, but I know this certain shop near here that has a lot of good flavors!”

 

“Well, I think my stomach still has space for ice cream.” Hinata replies. “Where is it? Lead the way.”

 

“I will! Follow closely, Hajikkun!” Hinata could have sworn that he felt a weak surge of electricity when Komaeda’s soft hand grabbed his. “We shouldn’t get separated now of all times, so I hope you don’t mind holding the hand of someone like me.”

 

He speaks as if they never held hands before when they were younger. “Of course not.” Hinata tightens his hold on Komaeda’s hand. This was an opportunity. Who knows if it will come up ever again? “Well, uh… how come your hand is still as smooth as I remember? Almost like you didn’t do any work in nine years.”

 

“Oh.” Komaeda giggles. “I’ll take that as a compliment, I guess. Though I'm frequently told that my hands are indeed too smooth.”

 

Hinata ignores the implication that others have held Komaeda’s hand too. “Totally different compared to mine. My hands are like sandpaper or something.”

 

“Sandpaper is exaggerating!” Komaeda accompanies his giggles with a squeeze on his hand. Hinata’s heart skips a beat. He hopes it’s too dark for Komaeda to notice the growing blush on his face. “It has its certain appeal too, you know. Having rough hands… it means that you work hard and do a lot of things.”

 

“O-Oh, I never thought of that before.” Hinata wants to slap himself for stuttering. He didn’t know that Komaeda simply squeezing his hand would be this distracting. “That’s an interesting way to put it though…”

 

It was silent after that.

 

But for some reason, Hinata didn’t feel pressured to bring up something. If anything, it was a comforting kind of silence, one that he won’t mind having forever. Everything felt peaceful that moment—his overly worried thoughts aren’t bothering him, and at least he’d be holding Komaeda’s hand.

 

\--

 

“Here we are!” That’s what Komaeda said when they entered the ice cream shop that he was talking about. That was also what he said before shortly letting go of Hinata’s hand.

 

Hinata doesn’t know why the feeling of not having Komaeda’s hand on his is already foreign real quick.

 

“I'm so glad it’s still open at this hour. I actually had doubts, but it seems I got lucky again!” Komaeda speaks as he walks towards the selection of flavors. “What flavor does Hajikkun want?”

 

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you for a recommendation since you look like you're usually here?”

 

“Oh, good point.” Komaeda nods as if only realizing that now. “Well, I usually order this one they call ‘strawberry fields’, but the flavor of the viva ice that I had earlier is strawberry too, so I guess I’d want something different…”

 

“Ah, right.” Hinata looks at the flavors available. “Well, if I remember right, you were at least fond of the bubblegum flavor back then, right?”

 

Komaeda’s face lights up. “I did like the bubblegum flavor. It’s so nice you remember.”

 

“Of course I do.” Hinata says before he can even think about his words. He immediately panics when he realizes what exactly he said, but Komaeda didn’t seem to notice whatever implication his statement had anyway. Or if he did, he was polite enough to not react at all, and Hinata deeply fears the fact that that possibility is so plausible.

 

“The one that Hajikkun likes is chocolate, right?” Komaeda turns to him with a smile so heartwarming that Hinata almost forgot for a second that he should reply. “Now that I think about it, their chocolate ice cream in this shop is good too.”

 

“Yeah…” Hinata realizes that his constant staring here and there can possibly make things awkward, but he still can’t bring himself to stop. “Yeah, I’d like that. Must try.”

 

“I'm just gonna buy then. You can sit here while I do.”

 

“Wait, how much will it be? I haven’t given you my payment yet.”

 

“It’s on me, Hajikkun.” Komaeda giggles. “Don’t be a stranger now. I know we haven’t seen each other in nine years, but we never stopped being friends, have we?”

 

Oh, no. There's the heat rising in his face again. Komaeda’s just too nice even after all this time. “Y-You're right. Um… Thanks. Nagi.”

 

Komaeda blinks, surprise all over his features. Hinata was trying to refrain from calling him with his nickname all evening, but he thought that it was a good time to do so right now. He just knew that he wasn’t wrong with that thought when Komaeda’s cheeks redden as well.

 

“W-Well…” Komaeda stutters for the first time in that evening. Hinata feels like he was transported to the times years ago. “A-Again, just wait here, okay? I’ll be fast.”

 

Komaeda retreats to the counter, almost as if escaping, and Hinata can’t keep himself from smiling.

 

He doesn’t want to get ahead of himself, but the fact that he was able to make Komaeda blush…

 

That was a good thing, wasn’t it?

 

\--

 

The night wasn’t exactly warm, yet here they are, walking outside and eating ice cream. There was the comfortable silence again, and Hinata finds himself looking at Komaeda from time to time to make sure that he's still there.

 

Komaeda looks really peaceful with a calm smile on his face as he slowly eats his ice cream, and Hinata just kind of gets the thought that maybe it’s a good idea to hug him… like, right now.

 

Or not.

 

Hinata clears his throat instead because the silence is making him get weird ideas. “Do you want to sit on that bench over there? We’ve been walking for a while now.”

 

“Sure, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea.” Komaeda softly replies, and they walk over to the bench that Hinata pointed, sitting down shortly.

 

They're in a good location right now, if Hinata does say so himself. There weren’t people around except for the two of them, and the stars in the sky are easy to see from their position. His heartbeat seems to be accelerating with each second, and that’s too ridiculous because he knows that he has to calm down especially now.

 

“So, uh,” Hinata desperately tries to come up with something to talk about. “It’s good. The ice cream, I mean. Really good.”

 

Komaeda licks a portion of his bubblegum ice cream and softly bites into it before replying. Hinata sincerely wishes that he didn’t blush again. “I'm so glad you liked it. That one was my favorite ice cream shop, see. Not only are the prices reasonable, but they have a wide array of choices too.”

 

“Right, I…” Hinata finds himself unable to speak. It didn’t feel like a voluntary action—it just kind of happened the moment he made eye contact with Komaeda. Under the moonlight, Komaeda’s eyes look even better, mesmerizing even, and somehow, he can’t move nor can he say a word.

 

His throat suddenly felt dry, and he can hear his heartbeat in his ears. He wonders if he's starting to make Komaeda feel uncomfortable, but he's not really looking away, so Hinata doesn’t feel the strong urge to do so either. Komaeda’s hair looks so soft, and he’ll just have to move his hand a bit, then he’ll be able to feel just exactly how soft it really is.

 

Komaeda’s cheeks are lightly flushed—Hinata isn’t really sure because the moonlight wasn’t good enough for him to see every detail, but he's going to trust his initial observation. He doesn’t understand too why the both of them still are firmly holding each other’s stare up until now, but he's not going to complain any moment soon.

 

He feels his hand slowly moving up. At this point, he knows that he's not even thinking anymore as he places that hand softly on Komaeda’s cheek. The color on his face that Hinata wasn’t sure about becomes even more visible, and this time, he knows that there was no room left for doubt.

 

He softly runs his thumb on the side of Komaeda’s mouth, and he lets go of the breath that he has been unconsciously holding. “Y-You got ice cream on the side of your mouth.”

 

“O-Oh.”

 

The way Komaeda’s voice sounded and the way he blushed that moment are probably the reasons why Hinata decided to lean in even closer than he already is. He makes sure to move as slowly as he can so that Komaeda can push him away anytime.

 

He knows that the best choice is to explicitly ask if what they're doing right now is okay, but somehow, he's too much of a chicken to actually formulate the words that he wants to say. So he just continues moving in a turtle’s pace, honestly expecting that he’ll be violently pushed away anytime soon, and that’s why his nervousness rises over the roof when he can already feel his forehead lightly touching Komaeda’s yet he's still sitting on his place without being kicked or punched.

 

Komaeda’s even more beautiful up close. Hinata can feel his warm breath on his face, and he still smells like vanilla, like that instant when he hugged Hinata before. The smell was almost intoxicating, and his already dwindling reasoning completely ceased as he decides to finally close the distance between the two of them.

 

Hinata closes his eyes, and he feels Komaeda doing the same. The flutter of Komaeda’s eyelashes against his skin tickles him and he almost squirms, but he makes sure to stay firmly on his place. He caresses Komaeda’s cheek with his thumb this time, softly and gently, as he slowly moves his lips against Komaeda’s soft ones.

 

He feels Komaeda reciprocating the gesture, and all his insecurities seem to be forgotten one by one at the moment. Right now, he just knows that this situation is perfect, that even after nine years of not interacting, he knows that somehow the two of them can make this work if they want to.

 

He wraps his other arm around Komaeda’s waist, pulling him even closer because he honestly doesn’t want to separate anymore ever again, especially not after this happening. Komaeda’s lips are so soft just like his skin—everything about him feels so flawless and perfect—and Hinata promptly thinks that right now, maybe he is the luckier one between the two of them.

 

Komaeda seemed like he lived in a completely different world, a completely different level compared to him, yet Hinata can’t deny that right now, he feels a connection so strong that makes him think that they're meant for each other, after all.

 

He allows himself to lightly touch Komaeda’s lower lip with his tongue, and he feels excitement flow through his veins as Komaeda slightly opens his mouth because of his unspoken request. He can’t believe that he's being allowed such honor—that was what went through his mind as he reluctantly explores Komaeda’s mouth with his tongue.

 

His reluctance had a number of reasons. He never really kissed anyone before, and he honestly doesn’t really have a clue if he's doing alright at the moment. For all he knows, while he's enjoying this kiss, Komaeda probably isn’t feeling the same…

 

But if that’s so, then why does this feel so right?

 

He slightly pulls away because he just knows that he was about to forget how to breathe.

 

His entire chest felt as if it burned when he saw Komaeda, still with his eyes closed, and if not for the moonlight, he wouldn’t have seen the slight glisten on the corner of Komaeda’s eyes.

 

Every hint of the positive sensations that he had earlier got wiped clean by just that mere sight, and he can feel his panic rising in an alarming rate.

 

“…W-Why are you crying? I'm so sorry, I—”

 

“No, I—” Komaeda finally opens his eyes, his tears getting more visible, and Hinata wants nothing more than to punch himself and throw himself to the sea. “…I'm the one who should be sorry, Hajikkun. I'm so sorry. I'm really sorry.”

 

“O-Oh.” Hinata blinks. His heart still won’t stop beating fast. “If it’s because of what happened, it’s okay, I initiated it—”

 

“No.” Komaeda quickly interrupts. One of his hands flies up to wipe his tears promptly before speaking again. “You don’t understand… I-I like you so much, Hajikkun. I like you so much. E-Even until now—”

 

“T-Then there's no problem.” Hinata’s voice is still shaking. In fact, he realizes that even his hands are as he moves them to hold Komaeda’s. “I like you so much too. Even after all this time, I still do really, really like you. I never ever forgot.”

 

Komaeda closes his eyes and shakes his head, obviously as an effort to stop any more of his tears from coming. “…This was a mistake. We shouldn’t have met up.”

 

“…What?” Hinata slowly shakes his head too, disbelief all over his features. “Alright, I don’t understand. Y-You like me, right? I like you too, Nagito. I like you so much. In fact, I think I even love you. So I don’t understand what the problem is… P-Please tell me. I want to understand.”

 

Komaeda takes a deep breath. He bit his lower lip long enough that Hinata thought for a while that Komaeda isn’t interested in replying anymore. “I thought I was over you. It was ridiculous—me holding my interest in you for nine years despite not meeting or talking at least once. Not to mention, it started at a young age, so I was pretty sure that whatever attraction I had was nothing but childish. I didn’t think I’d meet you ever again, I’ve stopped hoping—”

 

“Is that it? All because it’s childish?” Hinata repeats. For some reason, he can’t stop slowly shaking his head. “If that’s so, then I'm really childish too! I'm just the same as you! I know I was being stupid, but I really never did stop liking you!”

 

“Hajime.”

 

Hinata stops, his eyes widening.

 

His entire life—he doesn’t know if Komaeda already called him by his first name in his entire life.

 

“I-I have a boyfriend.” Komaeda speaks again. Hinata started hearing something ringing inside his head. “That’s why… I’d appreciate it if you act like this never happened.”

 

Hinata just knows that he looks so lost at the moment. Komaeda still isn’t looking him in the eyes, and Hinata badly wants to say something, but he can’t even seem to open his mouth. He can feel a slight prickle on his eyes though, and he doesn’t know if he should be relieved that he still can feel something at the moment.

 

“…Who is it?”

 

Komaeda bit his lower lip again. “Kamukura-kun.”

 

Of course.

 

Hinata was being stupid. If anything, that should have been one of the first questions that he has asked. He should have asked if Komaeda was in a relationship with anyone before even doing anything. At least he’d know his position right from the start.

 

Someone as beautiful as Komaeda—Hinata should have known at first sight, really. The moment he saw how beautiful Komaeda has become, he should have known that there was no way that he’d be alone like Hinata is at the moment.

 

And of course it had to be Kamukura. Hinata instantly felt like that child that he was back then. The child that was heavily jealous of Kamukura’s abilities, heavily upset of the fact that he can’t be someone like Kamukura no matter how hard he tries, heavily discontented with the fact that he's just too plain, too ordinary, too normal…

 

Of course too, instead, he got ahead of himself. He thought that, just like him, Komaeda would stupidly wait for nine years without even getting involved with anyone. He thought that Komaeda would be as foolish as him, but no, he was mistaken.

 

“…I'm sorry then.” Hinata says. He can feel himself slowly scooting backwards. He just wants to hide somewhere forever and never leave that place. He feels like he's doing something wrong though as he stands up from the bench, still slowly, still hoping that somehow Komaeda would change his mind and tell him to stay, but he was already a couple of steps away from the bench and Komaeda still hadn’t said anything.

 

He already had his back turned away, ready to just leave, hoping to forget about everything that happened, but also hoping that maybe he’d wake up and just find out that everything was a nightmare—none of this is real, he hasn’t really met up with Komaeda yet, and he still has a chance to have a good ending.

 

His hope of having this situation entirely diminished when he hears Komaeda finally speaking, and albeit his voice was soft, Hinata heard him clearly.

 

“…I'm sorry too. Goodbye.”

 

\--

 

“Hey, Hinata-kun, how did it go?” Naegi’s smile was so happy, obviously looking forward to hearing wonderful news, as he eagerly skips towards Hinata the next day. “Sorry I wasn’t there to wish you good luck, but Kuzuryuu-kun told me how nervous you were, haha! So how was it?”

 

Hinata didn’t reply.

 

It wasn’t because he was being an asshole. It’s because he honestly doesn’t know how he should.

 

“…Ah.” Naegi started to visibly sweat. Hinata can actually find the exact moment Naegi realized that he shouldn’t have asked. “I-I'm so sorry… Do you want to talk about it or…?”

 

“…Not now.”

 

“I'm really sorry… Should I stay here or does Hinata-kun prefer to be alone right now…?”

 

“Thanks, Naegi. I’ll go talk to you guys later. You can go for now.”

 

Naegi’s reluctance to leave was evident on his face as he momentarily stayed there, just standing up and not saying anything. He ended up walking away though, and even if he looks like he's trying to be discreet, Hinata still noticed that Naegi gave him a worried glance before thoroughly going away.

 

It’s ridiculous how much Hinata was being affected by what happened.

 

He has been without Komaeda for nine whole years and he survived. That’s why he shouldn’t be feeling so strongly about this.

 

That’s what he repeatedly told himself as he ignores the strong urge to just rest his head on his desk and never get up.

 

\--

 

Hinata knows that he shouldn’t visit Komaeda’s profile again when he gets home that day. Every photo of Komaeda smiling (and Kamukura ‘liking’ each one of them) will just surely taunt him and remind him that he's practically no one in Komaeda’s life right now.

 

** Nagito Komaeda **

Add as friend

 

It took Hinata a while to register what exactly is wrong with Komaeda’s profile that time.

 

_Add as friend._

Komaeda has removed him from his friends list.

 

Hinata doesn’t understand though.

 

Why did Komaeda have to unfriend him? Hinata was alright with the two of them never talking ever again. Hell, Hinata won’t even leave a ‘like’ or a simple comment in any of his profile pictures if that’s what Komaeda wants, but did he really have to unfriend Hinata?

 

He's probably not thinking anymore as he sends another friend request and refreshes the page.

 

And refreshes.

 

And refreshes.

 

And refreshes.

 

And hopes to get accepted for a second time.

**Author's Note:**

> There's a surprise pairing somewhere in here that I didn't tag for... surprise purposes. I love you, guys. Belated Halloween.


End file.
